Relational Intelligence: The Skill of Noticing Connections in Everyday Life

With awareness, patterns exist all around us, helping us create meaning where others might overlook it.

Most of us think about intelligence in terms of what we know, the academic degrees and certifications we earned, or how well we can solve problems.

But there is another kind of intelligence that is just as important, one that shapes how we see the world, the choices we make, and the meaning we give to our experiences.

It is called relational intelligence.

At its heart, relational intelligence is the practice of developing awareness around how things exist in relation to where you currently are in life. It is about simultaneously observing, interpreting, and reflecting on the way thoughts, people, ideas, even what our possessions mean to us, and what they reveal when we give our undivided attention to them.

Your Vantage Point

The key with relational intelligence is identifying where you are by understanding the vantage point from which you see the world.

Your perspective is shaped by countless influences, including your upbringing, experiences, beliefs, and current circumstances, all of which act as filters for how you interpret situations and interactions.

When you become aware of this vantage point, you gain clarity not only about your own biases and assumptions, but also about the opportunities and blind spots it creates.

Relational intelligence grows when you can recognize that your view is just one of many. Understanding your vantage point can open new ways of connecting deeply, finding creative solutions to problems, and finding meaning in your everyday life.

This kind of awareness is practical for understanding and honoring your boundaries.

Setting Boundaries

Consider work as an example. Your relationship to work affects far more than the hours you spend in the office. The level of investment you bring to your professional life will inevitably spill over into your personal life, affecting the energy you have for friendships, the activities you engage in, and how you feel when you return home at the end of the day.

What may seem like a single domain of life is, in reality, interwoven with nearly every aspect of our lives. This is where the importance of establishing boundaries come into play.

Boundaries are not walls, but parameters comprised of deliberate space that help you preserve the energy and presence you want for the people, experiences, and roles that matter most. Clear boundaries allow you to navigate that web with intention rather than depletion.

By paying attention to what drains versus what replenishes you, you gain insight into where boundaries are needed, and how to set them in ways that protect your well-being.

The Practice of Checking In

When we practice relational intelligence, we begin to see these links more clearly. Suddenly, neglected areas of life begin to surface. Challenges present themselves as opportunities for growth. New perspectives emerge on things we never thought to question.

By bringing awareness to these links, we begin to find common ground where expectations may have otherwise gone unmet.

Awareness creates choice, and our choice to become aware deepens connection.

Think about relational intelligence as a progression, a continuous cycle of checking in with yourself and the area in question:

1. Awareness: Notice what exists immediately around you, including people, thoughts, situations, and ideas. They may not always be obvious or within your direct line of vision, but staying open to what emerges as pressing or important invites deeper exploration.

   
   

2. Inquiry: Stay curious and ask ‘why’ to uncover deeper meaning. Notice how something shows up in your life, how you interpret its presence or purpose, and whether you choose to engage with it. Each of these moments offer a way to recognize its value and reflect on the feelings it stirs within you.

   
   

3. Connection: Open yourself to solutions and pay attention to what the present moment reveals. Even if the outcome does not align with your initial perspective, it may turn out to be surprisingly meaningful, even awe-inspiring.

The process may sound simple, but it is profoundly transformative when you take the time and give yourself the space to practice this approach.

We often miss how interconnected our lives are, but noticing those links has the propensity to change our perspective.

Once we start noticing these patterns, life begins to take on a different texture, navigating it in search for opportunities to check-in than merely avoiding or pushing them away.

Serendipitous Encounters

Have you ever noticed a theme that keeps showing up in unexpected places?

Maybe a line in a book caught your attention. Then, the same idea surfaced in a casual conversation, and later appeared in a podcast that autoplayed when you were not even searching for it.

At first, it seems random. Just background noise. But when the same message keeps echoing, it is hard to ignore.

This is relational intelligence in action: learning to see that, what appears foreign or unrelated, might hold unexpected value.

Life often nudges us to connect the dots between seemingly disconnected moments. When we pause long enough to notice, a thematic through-line begins to emerge, its relevance shaped by our own interpretation. The simple act of becoming aware of these connections is what gives them meaning and value.

Recognizing the Foreign Threads

Too often, when we encounter something unfamiliar, our first instinct is to protect ourselves: to explain it away, dismiss it, or cling to stories that keep us safe from engaging with the unknown. But those stories also guard us from curiosity, and from the possibility that this new encounter could enrich us in ways we least expect.

Everything we come across has some kind of value, even if it does not align with our current perspective.

Each of us sees the world through our own lens, shaped by our culture and upbringing. That means we naturally interpret information differently, filtering what we hear, see, and feel through our unique frame of reference. But just because someone shows up with a perspective that does not match our own does not mean it lacks value.

In fact, those moments often become the most powerful teachers. When we pause to recognize that another person’s truth can exist alongside ours, we open the door to new insights, hidden connections, and unexpected opportunities for expanding our awareness.

In Closing

Here is a simple practice for the week ahead: pay attention to one unexpected connection that shows up in your life.

Maybe it is a person you have not seen in years, an idea that resurfaces from your past, or a feeling that points you toward a new experience.

Pause, asking yourself what it might be showing you.

You may be surprised by the clarity and possibility that emerges when you choose to notice.

➤ About GlideView Collective

GlideView is a personal transformation company that helps people who are going through a major life transition to design the next decade of their lives with clarity and purpose. Our flagship 10-Year Visionnaire Program is an eight-week guided small-group experience for individuals who are motivated by personal growth. Through facilitated sessions, intentional reflection, and deliberate planning, participants craft an audacious and meaningful 10-year vision with the support of a like-hearted community.

GlideView programs empower individuals by providing content that increases self-awareness and uncovers internal resources, enabling them to thrive naturally and take progressive action as they navigate this pivotal stage of life.